Glossary: the words for the men we read about
The words women use for the men they read about, look for and imagine. Each entry starts with the meaning in two sentences.
Aftercare
Aftercare is the time partners take to look after each other after sex or an intense scene. What it means, examples, and why it matters.
Black cat boyfriend
A black cat boyfriend is reserved, independent and affectionate only with his person. What the term means and how he differs from a golden retriever.
Book boyfriend
A book boyfriend is a fictional man from a novel that a reader has fallen for. What the term means, the common types, and why the crush is harmless.
Boyfriend material
Boyfriend material means a man who has the qualities of a good partner. What the phrase means and the signs people look for.
Brat tamer
A brat tamer is a dominant partner who enjoys a playful, defiant counterpart. What brat and brat tamer mean and how the dynamic works.
Comfort character
A comfort character is a fictional character you return to because they make you feel safe and calm. What the term means and why it helps.
Daddy dom
A daddy dom is a dominant partner whose style is protective and nurturing. What the term means between adults, and what it does not.
Dark romance
Dark romance is a romance genre with dangerous heroes and themes of power, obsession and moral ambiguity. What defines it and why readers love it.
Emotional affair
An emotional affair is a close, secret bond with someone outside your relationship, without sex. The signs and what to do about it.
Enemies to lovers
Enemies to lovers is the romance trope in which two people who start as opponents fall in love. Why it works and what makes it good.
Female gaze
The female gaze is a way of showing people and desire from a woman's point of view. What it means and how it differs from the male gaze.
Fictosexual
Fictosexual describes people whose attraction is directed mainly at fictional characters. What the term means and how it differs from a crush.
Gigolo
What gigolo means: a man paid for his company and attention by a woman. Where the word comes from, how it changed, and the gigolo in fiction.
Golden retriever boyfriend
A golden retriever boyfriend is cheerful, loyal and openly affectionate. What the term means, his signs, and his opposite, the black cat boyfriend.
Himbo
A himbo is a handsome, kind and not very bright man. Where the word comes from and why it became a compliment.
Limerence
Limerence is an involuntary, obsessive state of longing for one person. What it means, how it differs from love, and how long it lasts.
Love bombing
Love bombing is overwhelming someone with affection early on in order to gain control. The signs, and how it differs from real enthusiasm.
Morally grey
Morally grey describes a character who is neither hero nor villain. What it means in romance, and why the morally grey man is so loved.
Parasocial relationship
A parasocial relationship is a one-sided bond with a public figure or character. What it means, whether it is healthy, and where AI fits in.
Pillow talk
Pillow talk is the quiet, intimate conversation two people have in bed. What it means, why it matters, and what to talk about.
Praise kink
A praise kink means being turned on by praise and approval. What it is, why it is common, and how to bring it up with a partner.
Romantasy
Romantasy is a genre that blends romance and fantasy, with the love story at the centre. What defines it and where to start.
Situationship
A situationship is a romantic connection without a label or commitment. What it means, the signs you are in one, and how to get clarity.
Slow burn
A slow burn is a romance in which attraction builds gradually over a long time. What it means, why the waiting works, and how it applies to real flirting.
Soft dom
A soft dom leads with warmth instead of strictness: gentle control, praise and care. What the term means and how it differs from a strict dominant.
Touch starved
Touch starved means lacking physical affection for so long that it affects your wellbeing. The signs and what helps.
Words of affirmation
Words of affirmation is the love language of spoken appreciation. What it means, examples you can use, and how to ask for it.
Yearning
Yearning means a deep, lasting longing for someone or something out of reach. The meaning of the word and its place in romance.