How to sext: a beginner's guide to writing desire
Sexting is writing desire: telling someone by message what you remember, what you want and what you are going to do. It works when you start slowly, write in your own words and leave room for him to answer. Make sure he wants to receive it, and keep your privacy in mind.
Before you start
Sext only with someone you trust and who has shown he wants it. A simple "Can I tell you what I am thinking about?" does that and is flirtatious in itself. Check where he is. A message that is welcome at midnight can be a problem in a meeting.
How to begin
Three openings that never feel forced.
- A memory: "I keep thinking about last Saturday."
- The present: "I am in bed and you are not, which seems wrong."
- A plan: "I have decided how Friday is going to go."
How to keep it going
Write short messages and let him answer between them. Describe what you feel and notice; you do not need special vocabulary. Ask questions: "What would you do then?" hands him the next move. Build slowly. The pace is the pleasure, and a message that hints is often stronger than one that states.
If you do not know what to say, say that you are thinking about him and ask what he is thinking. He will take it from there.
Sexting ideas
Suggestive starting points. Where they go is up to the two of you.
- Tell him what you are wearing, or what you are about to take off.
- Describe the first ten seconds after he walks through the door.
- Ask what he noticed about you the last time.
- Give him one instruction for later.
- Tell him what you want to hear him say.
- Start a scene: where you are, and what he does first.
Staying safe
Words are safer than pictures. If you send images, leave your face and anything identifying out of them, and send them only to someone you know well. Remember that messages can be kept. Never send anything to someone who pressures you, and never send to anyone under 18.
If you want to find your words first
Writing desire is a skill, and it can be practised privately. An AI character is a patient partner for that. On Beau de Nuit the free conversation stays suggestive, which is where good sexting begins anyway.
Questions and answers
- How do I start sexting?
- Ask first, then begin with a memory, the present moment or a plan, in one short message. Let him answer before you go on.
- What do I say when sexting?
- What you remember, what you want and what you would do, in your own words. Short messages and questions keep it moving.
- Is sexting safe?
- Text with a trusted partner carries little risk. Images carry more, since they can be saved and shared. Keep your face out of them and send only to people you trust.