Things to talk about with your boyfriend when you have run out
When you run out of things to talk about with your boyfriend, the fix is rarely a better topic. It is a smaller one. Ask about a detail of his day, tell him one thing you noticed, or plan something together. Below are thirty starting points for the phone, for dinner and for late at night.
Why conversation dries up
Couples who talk every day use up the news quickly. "How was your day?" gets "fine" because it is too large to answer. Quiet between two people is not a warning. It usually means you have stopped asking small questions.
For the phone or a text
Short and specific.
- What was the strangest thing someone said to you today?
- What are you looking at right now?
- Tell me one thing that annoyed you and one that pleased you.
- What did you eat, and was it worth it?
- What is in your head that has nothing to do with work?
- I saw something today that you would have liked.
- What are you looking forward to this week?
- Play me the last song you listened to.
- What would you rather be doing?
- Guess what I did today.
For dinner
Things you can build on together.
- Where should we go next, if money did not matter?
- What should we cook that we have never tried?
- Which of our friends has the best relationship, and why?
- What film should everyone see once?
- What would we do with a free weekend and no phones?
- What was the best meal of your life?
- What would you change about this flat tomorrow?
- What did you want to be, and when did you stop?
- Which year would you repeat?
- What are you curious about lately?
For late at night
Slower questions, for when the lights are low.
- What were you like at sixteen?
- What do you think about when you cannot sleep?
- When were you last really happy?
- What is something you have never told me?
- What do you want more of in your life?
- What is your favourite memory of us?
- What did you think the first time we met?
- What should we do before the year ends?
- What do you like about how we are together?
- What can I do for you this week?
When the quiet is comfortable
Not every silence needs filling. Being able to sit in the same room without talking is one of the signs of a good relationship. Reach for a question when you want closeness, not because a gap frightens you.
Questions and answers
- What can I talk about with my boyfriend?
- Small, specific things: a detail from his day, something you noticed, a plan you could make together, or a memory.
- Is it normal to run out of things to say?
- Yes. It happens in every long relationship and usually means the questions have become too general.
- What do I talk about with my boyfriend on the phone?
- Ask what he is looking at, what annoyed and pleased him today, and tell him one thing that made you think of him.